Horace Kingsbury's Death
In the race to the railroad crossing, the train won.
Lilburn regularly rode his letter-writing hobby horse - keeping his family and friends informed. The following excerpts are from a letter telling of his older brother Horace’s death, the funeral services and the growing friction between Xena, Horace’s daughter by his first wife, and Ellen, his widow.
In the Race to the Railroad Crossing - the Train Won
December 10, 1954
Dear Folks,
Six weeks ago today since Horace had his accident. He either failed to see the approaching train or thought he had time to cross the track ahead of it. His car was demolished and he was badly injured and rushed to the hospital. He made a valiant fight and if ever he thought he might not come through to recovery, he gave no mention or indication of it. He had said the doctors thought he might get home for Christmas. I last saw him Saturday night looking tired. Having taken seventy steps with help that day he laughed and joked with Lillian and me. Sunday Xena talked with Dr. Winn who told her he was not doing well, so she came at noon Monday to see him. She offered to relieve the nurse who replied she could not leave the room even for a moment. Xena went to the head nurse and asked if orders had been given for the nurse not to leave the room and was told there had not been. So the head nurse told the one on duty she could be excused while Mrs. Bragg enjoyed a visit with her father. Later the duty nurse apologized to Xena and told her she had no choice for Mrs. Kingsbury had ordered her not to leave the room. After the happy visit Xena went to town and bought a beautiful bouquet of red roses and white mums for her father’s room, but found when she got back that he had died. Ellen had come and was there when the end came. Horace had walked into the bathroom to the toilet alone but called for the nurse to come. She found him blue in the face. Another nurse was called but by the time they carried him to his bed, he was dead. They tried artificial respiration and oxygen but to no avail.
All through his illness Ellen and Xena have been at cross purposes. Ellen damned Xena for what she did and what she didn’t do. She would wave Xena away from her father, whispering she tired him. To me she would say, “I wish I could get it across to Xena not to try to tell her father jokes to make him laugh. It saps his strength.” Xena would say, “Dad needs something to cheer him up. He likes funny stories.”
Xena said Ellen never left the room so she could have a visit alone with her father, so she planned her visits to arrive when Ellen was at home. And managed some very successful visits.
The doctor wanted to hold an autopsy to find out where the clot was which caused his death and Ellen felt it could do no harm and was willing, but the thought was repugnant to Xena so there was none. Goodman and Boller (Boonville undertakers) were called. Xena said in Huntsville someone or more of the family stays at the undertaking parlor all of the time to receive those who come and to conduct them up to the casket. Ellen thought that unnecessary. She said the man in charge was a good friend of hers and a good Presbyterian and she thought it quite unnecessary to have someone there all the time. In any case there was no one there when the body was on display. The room in which the casket was placed was a bower of beautiful flowers. Great quantities had also been sent to the house. Rosie came home distressed by Horace’s appearance Tuesday night. She said he did not look like himself at all. The next day Xena came in the afternoon and she was not satisfied either, so she asked Gus Boller if he could not do something about the mouth and eyes, and comb the little strand of hair in front as he was accustomed to wear it.
When I saw him, I thought he looked fine. Gus told me how he had worked to improve the appearance, some touching up, and Lillian thought a little rouge had been put on his lips. I felt quite satisfied. He certainly did not look his 81 years, more like a man of 60.
In the meantime Xena had ordered flowers for her family, Ellen having taken over the order for the casket, and Gus Boller persuaded Xena to let him order them rather than order and pay Schnell directly. Xena mentioned to Schnell what Gus had suggested and that firm blew its top. Schnell told her they were tired of Gus doing that to get a ten percent commission. They called Gus up and told him so, told Xena she might as well have $12.50 worth of flowers as to get only $10.00 worth so Gus could get a commission.
Ellen, it looked to me, was a little too frugal in buying the casket flowers of red roses and chrysanthemums. But anyway she ordered them. Xena went to the florist and had him put letters in gold on the bouquet streamers, “Husband and Father.” When the casket came home with this decorated bouquet on it and Ellen saw it, she was for going to get the scissors to cut the legend off but Anna Rose persuaded her to just turn them into the bouquet so they would not show.
The casket was brought home at 10:30 a.m. Thursday. Ellen had talked with Gus and told him she wanted him to close the casket an hour before the service began as she felt anybody who wanted to see him (Horace), if there was interest enough would go to the funeral home or come early to the house. Gus said, “Well, Mrs. Kingsbury, I am afraid I will be criticized for closing the casket so early.” She replied, “If so, you may tell them you were complying with Mrs. Kingsbury’s wishes.”
Ellen had decided by then she would have the service at home. Gus had assured her the speaking system could be set up, and chairs could be put in all four rooms, the room and hall upstairs and the little side porch so as many could be accommodated there as at the churches. Gus then wanted to know what should go in the paper? When he asked when Mr. Kingsbury was married, Ellen told him 1935 in Louisville to her. She said he had lived in Howard County all his life, and when I mentioned Florida she said that part of his life was so unsuccessful, it was hardly worth mentioning. The daughter and grandchildren were named. I was watching Xena who was crying, I knew, because her mother was not mentioned. I thought fast as to whether I should put in or not and putting my hand over my face as if I might have anticipated a blow, I said, “It seems to me for the sake of the daughter and grandchildren who may want to keep a copy of the story of their father’s death, that his first marriage should be mentioned.” Gus said he thought that would be nice. I think with that comment I made myself unpopular with Ellen. Xena straightened up and thanked me several times for putting in. Ellen asked me to call the district superintendent to hold the service. When he called personally, he said he presumed the local pastor would conduct the service and Ellen told him no - she was afraid he might bobble it. ( A fear not unjustified.) But the local pastor was asked to say a prayer.
Gus Boller had the house hooked up so there was a speaker in every room. The sound system worked fine and everyone who had good ears could hear distinctly. Finally, time came to bring the casket into the house and Gus Boller was at the front door. Ruby and Anna Rose had been overwhelmed by the odor of catshit around the fireplace in the parlor. They hunted around the flower stands to no avail. Then one of them spied it on the carpet a short distance in front of the fireplace. Gus was held off at the door while Rosie bulked it up and Ruby took it up with a wet rag. Ella, the cook, came bringing the atomizer which was used to purify and sweeten the air. It was right where Gus Boller’s handsome catafalque had to be placed. Over that hurdle, the casket was brought and the flowers arranged. All the red rose bouquets were banked on the mantel in the front room and immediately around the casket. A magnificent white bouquet was on the floor and I commented about it being so lovely, and Ellen said, “But you see we have put all the red ones, his favorite color, close to the casket.”
As we stood there she took my hand and said, “You haven’t been around lately.” I said “No,” I had assured her she should call me whenever there was anything I could do, and not having been called, I presumed nothing was needed so I kept myself from being in the way. She assured me I would never be in the way in her house.
People began coming in early and for some time I opened the door for them. Men were carrying chairs and placing them in the east living room, the dining room, the middle parlor, the west porch and upstairs in the bedroom and in the hall upstairs where the family was to sit. Ellen had wanted everyone to register. Some did and some didn’t. At half after one I saw Gus start to close the casket, but Ellen had just told me she wanted it closed at two o’clock, so I called it to Gus’s attention and promptly at two the lid was on, just as Bertha Hitch came and she wanted to see but it was too late. Orders were orders. Gus had asked me how I was going to the cemetery and I told him I was driving my own car, taking Will, Anna Rose and Lillian. When I got settled down with the family, Anna Rose came over and said Ellen wanted me to walk with her at the cemetery and from the house. I went over and told Ellen I would be glad to escort her if she wished, but thought I should inform Gus Boller. She said “Yes” we could all go in the funeral cars.
So I made my way through all the people to the front of the house to tell Gus. I thought it would be easier not to try to return through the crowded lanes of the rooms, and went around to the side door of the room where the family was. I knocked on the door and heard someone move as if to open it. Then everything was silent. So I returned and retraced my steps through the crowded rooms. In the meantime Ellen was put out because someone was trying to get in that door and Lillian overheard Ellen say to her sister-in-law, “Sometimes I wonder if this is my house.” Whereupon Lillian turned to her and said, “It was Lib trying to get in.” Before the service started, Ellen decided to put on her hat and coat and did so, wearing them through the service. Hats and coats belonging to the rest of us were stacked on the bed in Ellen’s room.
Everything was perfectly still for minutes before the service started. One could have heard a pin drop. Martha Hobrecht played a number on the piano, the “death piano” Ellen hates so much. Then Rev. Morgan read the 90th Psalm and Rev. Burton acquitted himself nobly with a beautiful prayer. Then Lawrence White sang “The Lord’s Prayer.” Following this Rev. Morgan gave an impressive talk. Ellen had told him there was to be no eulogy or obituary. I can’t begin to tell you how and what he said, but it really was a beautiful exposition with nothing about it to tear the emotions. Finally he said, as if addressing him, “And so Horace, bon voyage,” and wished him beautiful things beyond compare when he arrived at his destination. This little bon voyage bit was sort of a shock to me. Then Rev. Morgan announced, “The song which is about to be sung is one of special interest to Mrs. Kingsbury as it was written in the front room of her home.” Lawrence White then sang “Asleep in Jesus.” (Ellen told me she was having it sung because she did not believe there had been a funeral in her family at which it had not been used, that her great grandfather helped to write it in the ancestral home in Virginia.
When the service was over and the family had started to go to the waiting cars I was delayed a little getting my hat and coat and involved in the excitement of Margaret Kingsbury saying to Anna Rose, “I know I handed my coat to you when I came in and you laid it on the bed. It’s not there. Somebody has taken it. I want my coat.”
Everybody was looking everywhere and presently all the coats were accounted for but Margaret’s. She had none to put on, and it was her good sealskin coat. Everybody was leaving because of necessity, leaving Margaret to her loss. I caught up with Ellen who said, “I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to walk with Bernard. I hope it won’t make you mad.” And so I rushed away to tell Gus Boller Mrs. Kingsbury had changed her mind and I would drive my own car after all. But Ellen wanted Anna Rose to walk with her and took her along. When the Converses, Ellen and Anna Rose were in the car ready to drive off, Anna Rose mentioned Margaret’s plight. Ellen looked at the coat she had on and said, “I wonder if I have her coat? Heaven’s sake, I have!” In the meantime, someone had looked in Ellen’s closet and found Ellen’s coat and rushed out with it. Gus Boller took it and asked “What shall I do with this one?” Anna Rose said, “For Heaven’s sake take it to that woman over there who must be frozen without a coat.” Margaret’s face got so red she looked as if she were having a stroke when she thought somebody had stolen her coat. We drove to Walnut Grove and left Horace there beside his first love, Minnie.
It would be inhuman if Xena were not interested in the estate, will, etc. She told us she went to see Roy Williams and asked him what was the usual procedure and if he knew anything about Horace’s affairs? Roy said he did not write the will and loaned Xena a book on wills. Xena thought Ellen might want her to stop at the house after the funeral to read the will as Roy had told her that it was done soon after the funeral. If a member of the family lived at a distance, it would save an extra trip.
From bits gathered here and there, the St. Louis Union Trust Company will be involved with everything except the farms. I have an idea trusts will be set up. Everything in the house will go to Ellen because she did not wish any arrangement or controversy with Xena over anything she might wish Xena to be reimbursed in cash to the value of the household goods. Everything else is to be divided 50-50. I don’t think Ellen had anything to do with it.
Ellen said she would continue to live at the big house and that if she ever decided to make a change she would probably go to Boonville.
Ellen is alone. By hokey she preferred to stay alone every night except for having Ella sleep in the house, and she told Rosie she hoped nobody would come to the house following the burial as she wanted to be alone. Anna Rose said whenever Ellen and Xena were in the house together Ellen was quivering and Xena did not know which way to turn and she herself was tense to the breaking point.
Well, you now know what kind of people you have for relatives out in Missouri. My relation of these things would make anyone think there was no deep sadness, no bereavement, but you know better.
At noon after we had given Gus Boller the information to be sent to the Boonville papers and the A.P., Xena called from Boonville wanting me to write an obituary for Horace to put with what we had already given to Gus. She said she thought a man of the worth and prominence of her father should have some sort of tribute paid him, and would I do it right away so she could drive over and get it in time for Gene Davis to get it in the paper. I just wasn’t in the proper frame of mind. I told her I thought his life spoke for itself, etc. But she wanted something his great grandchildren could read, that all his ancestors were written up in the county histories, etc. I had to let her down. But later the Fayette paper wanted information and feeling for Xena I jotted down some things I thought would be appropriate and sent them along. All who have read the story in the Fayette paper liked it and hoped Xena would too. I am sending her some copies.
Appraisers have been busy this week on the various properties of the estate with more than 1700 acres of land. The Fayette paper announced his gift of $25,000 to the Endowment Fund of Central College. And I heard he left Clark’s Chapel Cemetery $500. He gave Anna Rose $3000 but I believe it is to be held by me which I do not relish, and I am to pay it to her when she needs it. Each of the grandchildren received $1000.
Xena wrote and told Ellen she would like to be on terms with her, and hoped she might be a mother to her. This was a good joke to Ellen who told of it. To one she told she had not heard a word from Xena since the funeral. To another she said she was going to write Xena and tell her she was a grown woman now and didn’t need a mother.
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